Hello, My name is Neil. I have returned to the church after many years of living in the world without Jesus in my life. I was once a member of the Church, but left after divorce. It was not a scriptural divorce so found myself disfellowshiped from the church. About 3 years ago i remarried a wonderful lady and converted her to Christ. She was baptized in the Christian or instrumental church and i went forward and repented and joined that church as well. My problem is i don't like the instrumental music so have tried to join two non instrumental churches in my area with the same results. They tell us we must divorce to be members of the church because we are living in sin. Help what can i do? I can't divorce my wonderful wife so are we doomed?

Hi Neil and welcome to the forum.

I moved your post to it's own thread so that we would not derail Helen's introduction thread.

Unfortunately you have a very dangerous situation to overcome Neil. There is not going to be an easy way to get through this. God is very clear about divorce and remarriage... as Jesus stated...

Mat 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."

If your divorce was indeed unscriptural and you remarried, the you see the situation that you have placed you and your new wife in. Unfortunately there is only one way to cure this. It is much better to suffer through the emotions that might be brought about by doing the right thing than to have to suffer eternally for not doing the right thing.

I encourage you to speak with the elders in that local church of Christ congregation to help you through this in the proper manner.

As far as where you need to be worshiping... this information may help you better understand how we should worship in spirit and in truth, which would be without mechanical instruments. It's not a matter of what we like, but rather what pleases and glorifies God.

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In Christ,
brother Sonnie

Thank you for getting my post in the right place, also for your prompt reply. I have talked to the elders in two local churches and they only told me my marriage is not right. They only hinted that another divorce was about all i could do. Can you tell me how others have handled this, perhaps put me in touch with someone who has been through the same situation. I realize two perhaps three souls are involved so i really need advise.

Dear Neil, If one divorce was bad two can only be worse.My husband and I were in a not unsimilar situation,no need to go into any detail yet but if necessary would explain further.
The Lord knows the situation now and he will make everything clear to you.
His Word is a light to our feet.Lay it all before Him and wait.In quietness and confidence shall be your strenghth.You may have to take a back seat for some time but no need to run away.You will take the burden with you.As for the instruments they must realy get you down when you are already so heavy laden,but this seems to me just to be put in your path as a distraction from the real problem.
Helen

Thanks for your input Helen. I am coming to the same conclusion, if my first marriage ended badly in divorce many many years ago back in 1987 to have recently found my first true love, less than 3 years ago, and have helped her to find salvation through going to and being baptized into Christ how can my divorcing her be the right and only thing to do. If as we are told that we are living in adultery can't God forgive us without man (The Church) tearing us apart?

Neil,
your post does pose a few problems,God does forgive but he does not condone sin in our lives. It is good that your wife has a personal relationship with the Lord and baptized.This would be, not because but ,inspite of what happened. The church is not your enemy it is the body of Christ here on earth.
What a testimony you have opportunity to gain. Don't stay on a high horse ,to many people will get hurt when you fall. Be still and know that I Am GOD.
in Christian Love Helen

Dear Helen, thanks for the advise, i am really not trying to put my own bad judgment on the church to bear for me. I am only praying for and looking for what to do and asking for you good brothers and sisters in Christ to help me through it with the least amount of hurt for all involved. I don't want to make a bad situation even worse. The final answer will be from God.

Divorce is not unforgivable. God will forgive it if you are sincere, people unfortunately are not so generous. If you are already a Christian and you can be forgiven for adultery, murder, etc. why do people think you can not be for a divorce. I agree with the previous post about 2 divorces. How can getting another divorce "fix" the problem if it was wrong to get the first one?

Neil,
Christ is the answer indeed,and I pray that you continue in fellowship and continue to show Gods grace and mercy to those who are in authority over you.As I said before we have been there and the ground as it were was well tilled over but now we can all praise the Lord ,and the fruit of the spirit is seen in our lives.
This is now a great exercise of your faith.Nothing is impossible for our God.Trust Him.
Helen

I believe the one thing we are overlooking here is repentance. Forgiveness does not come without repentance. To repent means to turn away from... change ones mind. To repent of sin is to walk away from it... no longer be in that sin.

Luke 13:3, 5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;

2Cor 12:21 I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.

Rev 2:20 But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.
Rev 2:21 I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality.
Rev 2:22 Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works,


Yes, we can receive forgiveness for sin, but we cannot continue in that sin. Using tobacco is a sin. If we quit, repent and ask for forgiveness then God will forgive us. If we begin to use tobacco again, then we are in sin again. We received forgiveness for it once, but now we need forgiveness again, but we must stop... we must repent and confess that sin, asking for forgiveness in order to receive forgiveness. (1 John 1:9)

We can receive forgiveness for adultery, but we must repent of the adultery and turn away from it. Jesus is very clear on the matter...

Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

In this situation, a person is in the state of adultery. It's not just adultery once and then it goes away... it is adultery as long as the marriage continues. There is no repentance on the sinners part if they continue in that sin. It will not do any good to ask God to forgive you for it if you plan to continue in it.

The truth is that if we continue in that sin... there remains no more sacrifice for our sins...

Heb 10:26 For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,
Heb 10:27 but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries.


Unfortunately I am not aware of anyone who has been in this situation and worked through it. I will see if it is possible to find you some sort of counsel. If you will, send me a PM with your full name and address and I will try to do all that I can to help you find someone for you to talk with.

There is no doubt this is a tough situation to be in, however, life is full of tough situations that we as Christians must make. Making the right choices are important and can determine where our soul will spend eternity. It is much better to suffer now than to suffer later. This life is nothing more than a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. The life after this is eternal.

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In Christ,
brother Sonnie

I knew of a situation in our congregation where a couple divorced because the husband didn't divorce the first time for Scriptural reasons.

Unfortunately, the wife recently passed away and can't relate her story to you. I think the husband moved away. He came back only recently and asked for the prayers of the church and asked for God's and the congregation's forgiveness.

Blessings,
Pam

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"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NKJV