Hi Neil and welcome to the forum.
I moved your post to it's own thread so that we would not derail Helen's introduction thread.
Unfortunately you have a very dangerous situation to overcome Neil. There is not going to be an easy way to get through this. God is very clear about divorce and remarriage... as Jesus stated...
Mat 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
If your divorce was indeed unscriptural and you remarried, the you see the situation that you have placed you and your new wife in. Unfortunately there is only one way to cure this. It is much better to suffer through the emotions that might be brought about by doing the right thing than to have to suffer eternally for not doing the right thing.
I encourage you to speak with the elders in that local church of Christ congregation to help you through this in the proper manner.
As far as where you need to be worshiping...
this information may help you better understand how we should worship in spirit and in truth, which would be without mechanical instruments. It's not a matter of what we like, but rather what pleases and glorifies God.